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What do you want
me to know?

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That’s the question Judge Rosemarie Aquilina asked 156 women who were abused by Larry Nassar. She created a safe space for these women to tell their stories.

 

This is the most powerful question I’ve ever heard. In a courtroom, no one gets to tell their stories. They only answer pre-vetted, carefully crafted questions. Judge Aquilina gave those women the freedom to answer that question however they chose.  

 

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that there is no invitation to share what we want to share, be it in the courtroom or in our everyday life. We are accustomed to answering polite questions – How are you? How are the kids? How is work going? We respond with superficial answers, because we know there is no room for more. 

 

So, I decided to weave Judge Aquilina’s question into my life. “Tell me everything you want me to know,” I began saying to friends when I saw them or emailed them.

It was like magic. 

 

Suddenly, friends shared things with me that they wouldn’t have otherwise. I got to celebrate with them, hold their hands, cry, and laugh with them. This question created a safe space where I could hold them lovingly as they told me what they wanted me to know. They felt heard. I felt honored.

 

As women, we have so few opportunities to go beneath the surface. This is why I created Lemon Tree as a place for our stories, the ones that go unspoken in small talk.

I am a woman with a story to tell. 

I am going to tell those stories in this space.

And I will always invite you to tell me everything you want me to know. 

 

I promise I will listen.

 

So, tell me, what do you want me to know?

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